“Figs,” Marcus whispered, realization dawning on him. “The Turkish figs from my lunchbox.”

Pip snapped his fingers and pointed directly at Marcus, nodding aggressively.

“What is that animal doing?” Vance demanded, watching the interaction with deep suspicion. “Is he having a medical episode? Why is his tongue sticking out like that?”

“No, sir,” Marcus sighed, defeated. “He’s negotiating a bribe.”

Resolution at a High Cost

Marcus looked at Vance, then back at the baby ape who was currently holding his professional reputation hostage.

“If I give him the figs, he’ll show us where he hid the extra box,” Marcus lied quickly, hoping Vance would buy the bluff. “The baker always sends a backup pastry for VIP customers. It’s standard protocol.”

Vance’s eyes lit up. “A backup bear claw? Alive? Untouched by ape saliva?”

“Precisely, sir,” Marcus said, turning on his heel. “Just give me two minutes.”

Marcus ran down the hall toward the breakroom, leaving Vance alone with the two primates. Pip sat cross-legged against the glass, staring up at the Director with a smug, self-satisfied grin. Barnaby was already dangling upside down from a rope, completely oblivious to the high-stakes political maneuvering happening beneath him. 🐒

When Marcus returned, he wasn’t carrying a backup pastry—because it didn’t exist—but he was carrying a box of gourmet donuts he had bought for his own anniversary dinner. He slid the donuts into Vance’s hands and quickly tossed a handful of premium dried figs through the feeding chute for Pip.

Pip caught the figs with expert precision, stuffing three of them into his cheeks instantly. He flashed a final, triumphant, toothy grin at the window before scurrying off to hide his loot from Barnaby.

Vance opened the donut box, his anger melting away at the sight of chocolate frosting. “Well, Marcus, it’s not a Swiss bear claw, but it will suffice. Carry on.”

Marcus leaned against the glass, exhausted, watching Pip happily munching away in the corner. The sanctuary was quiet once more, saved by a dramatic baby and a box of frosted donuts. 🍩